we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
