ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
