I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
