Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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