hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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