It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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