Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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