Barsexuality is the new black.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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