she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
