never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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