mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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