420 ftw
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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