It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
