There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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