p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize