someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
