and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
