This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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