remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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