keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
