All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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