I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
