shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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