I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This can only be settled by a dance off.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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