Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
