I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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