I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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