PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
