ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize