we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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