Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
