did you get engaged???
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
