Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
