Where did you get a picture of my penis
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
