yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
