Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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