Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
