You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
