People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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