she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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