You really coming over, don't trick.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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