people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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