brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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