well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize