i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
