wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
