I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
