There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
another moral hangover. fuck.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
