Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
