Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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