The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i love accidental penises.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
