every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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