I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
