You really coming over, don't trick.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
