the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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