I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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