I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
