Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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