I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
