Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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