I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
