After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
